Strange And Useful Advice From Dads

Dads are full of factoids, master pancake makers, and love to offer advice.  We don’t always understand what they mean, but they do have a way with words.

Here’s some unusual, sometimes helpful, totally real advice from real life dads:

“When playing cards, always sit with your back to the wall.”

“Don’t walk on ice with your hands in your pockets.”

“Unless you’re okay with it being written on the front page of “The New York Times,” don’t say it.”

“It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.”

“Don’t be a wart on the pickle of progress.”

“You’re not really an adult until you can comfortably eat in a restaurant alone.”

“If you want to dance, you have to pay the band.”

“Never pack luggage you can’t lift or carry yourself.”

“When having a conversation with someone, wait three seconds after they stop talking before you start talking. For an added awesome awkward moment, wait seven seconds.”

“Ketchup is not an acceptable substitution for pasta sauce. But maybe we should just try it.”

“It’s not a race. It’s a finish.”

“If anyone ever tells you they think The Beatles are overrated, that is not a person you want to be friends with.”

“You can’t kick a dog towards you.”

“Learn your table manners so one day you can dine at the White House”

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.”

“If you’ve tried everything and nothing’s worked, ask your mother.”

What’s the best advice your dad ever gave you?

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